Saturday, June 16, 2012

How I gained 10 pounds and became skinny-fat.

I bought new running shoes the other day in hopes that if I wore them I could motivate others into actually thinking I work out. If they helped me in wanting to work out, that would just be an added bonus. But today I put them on, with two different style socks, and I actually did physical activity. It started out because I wanted to change my diet. I’ve been feeling like, for lack of a better word, absolute crap. And I’ve been feeling like that for a while. I feel bloated all the time and I’m pretty sure if I walked around rubbing my belly it would be only a matter of time until someone asked me when I was due. I knew that it was because I’ve been eating horrible. Soda, fast food, and ice cream sandwiches like nobody's business. I figured that since my job is pretty physically demanding and I’m running around all day that I probably just burn it all off anyway, but apparently that’s not how it works. 

So my sister started telling me about “clean eating.” It’s what Jillian Michael’s describes as, “if it doesn’t have a mother and it didn’t come from the ground—don’t eat it.” I thought that seems like a pretty good guideline to go by. Eat simply and primitively. Of course, it’s easier said than done. I then heard about the app called MyFitnessPal that calculates how many calories you should be eating per day and it lets you catalog everything you eat to hold yourself accountable. I figured this could help keep me on track. So I downloaded it and was creating my account when it started asking me the typical questions: my age, my height and my weight. I was going to put in the weight that I last remembered being—112, but then I thought I should probably make sure it was completely accurate so I weighed myself to make sure. That’s when I stepped on the scale in the bathroom and looked down in complete horror. The little pointer was bobbing in between 123 and 124. What?! I knew that I looked like I was in an early trimester of pregnancy, and at some point my “fat pants” had just become my regular pants that I couldn’t zip up, but ten pounds?! I was legitimately shocked. I even picked the scale up and moved it to a different part of the bathroom in case maybe the floor wasn’t completely level, but the ten pounds followed me.

 I know that 123 pounds is by no means overweight, and that some people would love to weigh that, but I’ve never been over 120 pounds in my life. I already had to enter my “mid-twenties” this year; I didn’t need my metabolism to quit on me now too. Granted, it’s been awhile since I was completely satisfied with my body. Of course not unsatisfied enough to actually do something about it, but enough where there was always that little voice in my head telling me I should probably eat right and exercise.  I know that I’m not fat, some might even consider me skinny but I can’t help but think I’m more of a skinny-fat. My body looks skinny in clothes, but in a two-piece bathing suit it's obvious that not a single muscle on my body is toned whatsoever. I would go so far as to say that I look more like a soft, doughy woman from a Renaissance painting that is draped in silk and surrounded by cherubs.  So I made the decision that I wanted, nay, needed to tone up. I don’t even care if I stayed at 123, honestly, if I could fit into my regular jeans and actually feel good.
 
So that’s when I put on my new running shoes and turned on the treadmill. Don’t be fooled by the word “treadmill” because I didn’t run. But I did walk at an incline for 20 minutes. Then I rode 3 miles on the exercise bike that is unfortunately located in my garage and it was like 100 degrees today so it was like I was doing the Tour de France in a sauna. After losing at least a gallon of sweat, I just started doing random calisthenics in my garage. I did some crunches and some jumping jacks. I grabbed a random hula hoop and started hula hooping for a while, wondering why there was a hula hoop in our garage. Of course after I went back inside and got in the shower I was already pissed I wasn’t seeing immediate results. I exercised! What more did my body want from me?!  Why didn’t I already look like the “after” picture on all those motivational fitness pins on Pinterest? Why did I still look like I should be lying on an ornate sofa rolled in soft fabrics and being fed grapes?  I let out a long, deep sigh when I realized that I’m going to have to do this consistently—forever. Or at least for a really long time. I wish I could be that person that wakes up at 5 in the morning and goes for a run, but I'm not because I have an irrational fear that I'm going to get kidnapped or get dehydrated and collapse on the side of the road and nobody will be able to find me. But I also have an irrational fear that I'm going to need to have a crane to remove me from my house one day, so I guess I'm going to have to man up and get a move on. But like Paul McCartney sort of once said, it's going to be a long and windy road. A road that I will walk at 3.0 speed and at a slight incline.

11 comments :

  1. Good luck!!! I am trying to lose just 5 pounds and it seems impossible! I started going to the gym and eating cleaner. let's check back in a month or so ;-)

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  2. I can definitely relate. For the majority of my college life I've been comfortably at 105 (height: 5' 2") and just recently I hit the 117 mark somehow!? I noticed my stomach is the first victim! When people noticed I started hitting the gym 4-5 days a week, they always told me "but you're already skinny!" - but like you mentioned, I was not toned at all. I am trying really hard now! I wish the best of luck to you :)

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  3. I'm in exactly the same situation as you. I hate when people disdain the fact that I want to eat healthier and exercise more because I'm "skinny". My BMI is in the normal range but I have 0 muscle whatsoever and I can't even zip up clothes I wore last yet. I want to be fitter, stronger and more toned, not "skinnier".

    Like you, I'm finding it a struggle. One day or two in a row I'll exercise, then the next I'll be too tired or too busy or whatever and before I know it it's been weeks since I exercised. I even bought an exercised bike which I've only used twice so far because the seat is so uncomfortable. The only thing that really motivates me is watching The Biggest Loser because I think "if they can do it, I have no excuse".

    Best of luck with getting your 'bikini body' and keep us updated on your progress!

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  4. Ugh, I have the same thing. :P I'm pretty skinny, but not toned. I've been doing Pilates though, and it helps a lot! I definitely suggest Pilates, it's fantastic. :)

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  5. You took the words right out of my mouth. Scale this morning +7 lbs... I'm skinny fat as well and I'm ready to make a change. If you come up with healthy yummy things, please share.

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  6. Stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to show you some blog luv! def enjoyed this post!! girl i know that feeling ALL 2 well! after my trip home for xmas i stepped on the scale to find out i gained 10 lbs! so i started "clean eating" and working out 5-6 days a week. i am now healthier...have more energy...and i almost have the 6 pack i have ALWAYS dreamed of having. The hard work does pay off it just take a little bit:) New follower via email

    http://infinitelifefitness.com
    http://mscomposure.blogspot.com

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  7. Ugh. I can so relate! I put on my bikini last week to lay out in the backyard to get a little tan before my husband and I go on a weekend vacation next month - I swear it looked like I was posing for a Rubens' painting. I don't have a scale, but I'm definitely skinny-fat, too. I guess regular exercise and watching portion control will be a part of the rest of my life, too. Either that or I'll forgo bikinis. ;) Best wishes to you!
    erica

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  8. Ack! As I was reading this I was totally nodding my head in agreement. I just turned 32 and as a former pro dancerstitch up my leotard at 28) it is hard to reconcile the fact that m body will never really look as good as it did in my mid twenties. I have gaiined a not so comfortable 8lbs, all around the belly & thighs that NEEDS to go. Although I have always been really active it seems so much harder to get motivated these days, & shopping for "workout" clothes seems depressing. Now that I know I am not suffering the "skinny fat" syndrome alone, i am gonna take it upon myself to hula along side you. hopefully it pays off just in time for sweater & Jean season!

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  9. Hello! What a nice looking blog you have! Did you make this blog on your own?

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  10. Ah story of my life! Just weighed myself today and was horrified to see that I gained 10! Whenever I try to eat healthy my friends make fun of me and say that I am already skinny, but like you, I don't want to look like a Renaissance painting woman in a bikini! I have used my Fitness Pall in the past, and it has been very helpful when I stuck to it

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  11. WOW! I could have blogged the very same thing! I used the term skinny fat for a while now. To my horror recently, I just went up a size in jeans. The only good that came out of the weight gain is that my sisters fill out my bra like they did in my 20's. I've always had a super flat belly. Now, I have a little pooch. I feel the pain.

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