Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Thank you

You know when you wake up and suddenly remember what you did the night before and think, "did I really do that?" That's exactly what I thought this morning when I woke up and thought, "did I really publish a post about my anxiety?!" Then I went online and saw all your comments and emails, and read every single one, three and four times actually. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and support and sharing your own experiences with me. It makes me feel so positive and reassured.

Sometimes I feel like with blogging, especially fashion blogging, that you create this little persona of yourself, where you only talk about the glamorous, exciting part of your life and you give off this false impression that you have it all together and everything figured out and you're riding around on a unicorn under rainbows all the time and it's usually never the case. Like one of the comments said, sometimes your issues are invalidated by the way you look or because you had a good day, because you think someone who's dealing with something should look a certain way. One of the reasons I even started this blog was to FORCE myself to get ready. To have a reason to pick out clothes and put on makeup. For so long I never felt like getting ready and putting on makeup,which in turn made me feel even worse because I never felt attractive. So I have my blog to thank for giving me a reason to WANT to look put together and look forward to picking out my outfits. Because how you look definitely effects how you feel.

And just because I dress up, or go out somewhere, doesn't mean I wasn't a nervous wreck the whole time and was continuously talking myself down from a panic attack, because about 85% of my outings are exactly that. I just don't want to give you a false impression of who I am. Not to say that I'm not happy, or never have fun when I do go out, but just because I did it doesn't mean it wasn't extremely hard for me.

But again, I cannot thank you all enough for your kindness and sweet words and out pour of support. I love that I now feel like I have a place to turn to when I'm having a difficult time and there are people that will help me through it and be there for me, and for that I am so grateful.

4 comments :

  1. That's the reason I like blogging--the feeling of community, discussion, and the ability to speak your mind. :) Chin up! There's lots of us out here who are here to talk! Glad you feel better about your post yesterday, I'm glad you did it. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Sometimes your issues are invalidated by the way you look or because you had a good day." I can totally relate to that. I've had a couple of conversations with a good friend of mine about how people don't take me seriously when I'm sad because I'm generally such a happy, cheerful, and optimistic person. It's like for one, any kind of sad mood of mine isn't taken seriously because people don't see me as capable of being sad, and two, it's as if people think I'm not ALLOWED to be sad because it's something most people can't imagine. If there is anything is the world we should be allowed, it's the right to feel however we want to feel, or need to feel, at any given moment. No one should be denied the right to any kind of emotion, to feel it or choose to not feel it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I tried to reply to your original post yesterday, but the darn computer mucked up and erased everything!
    I was so touched when you shared with us your problems with anxiety. I can relate to so many things you mentioned, like being unable to sleep away from home. For a long time I would end up freaking out around bedtime and have to call my mom to come get me. Many times I canceled a birthday party because I felt too sick and scared right before. I spent a fair amount of time in middle school locked in a bathroom stall sipping pepto bismol.
    I have a harder time with depressive aspects along with anxiety, and take medication so I don't cry every day. I tend to sleep up to 14 hours a day if I can. I also think of my blog as a real tool in keeping me balanced. Hopelessness in these situations is unfortunately unavoidable, but like you said, we will be okay.

    Best wishes and keep your chin up <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm glad you wrote the post. And we're always here :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...